did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
