So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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