Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
