she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
