3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
