so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
