I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
