Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
