I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
