goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
