Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize