Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
