Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
