we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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