How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm always down for nudity.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
