He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
