i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I would fuck him just for his dog
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
