I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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