That's intense
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
