so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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