the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
