you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
