like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
