He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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