Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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