no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
