Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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