...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
