You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
