yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
