their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
