I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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