Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
