I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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