Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
