Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
