OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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