i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
