return my video game
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
