Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
