Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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