Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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