i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
