You smell like stripper and shame
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
