Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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