she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
