he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
