PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
