ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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