Plan B is the new Plan A
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
