his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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