come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
