I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
